Why is weaning so hard

This has nothing to do with us, as moms. It is not about our womanhood or anything that we did or possibly did not do correctly. Infants have their own little biologically-driven timelines and it may be time to pull away. As they begin to experience a newfound sense of independence and it appears they do not require the consistency of their regular feedings, our babies may decide they are too busy. They may even lose interest in nursing at particular times.

For these reasons, we are sometimes unprepared for this and our supply begins to diminish a lot quicker than we thought. It may feel like our little ones are breaking up with us! How does a toddler articulate and express himself? He expresses himself in an age-appropriate way and as adequately as he knows how. Well, it does not take much deep contemplation to know that the answer to his frustration is often through temper tantrums and overcharged emotions.

This is a frustrating time for everyone involved. While mom knows how to express her feelings and label her experience, a baby feels agitated as he tries to adjust to this change. Family members feel helpless. He is accustomed to seeking not only milk but comfort, love, and bonding from his mom and generally on demand. The weaning process decreases that time and our little ones do not know how to ask for what they need to continue receiving the benefits of our time together. Most families benefit from structure and routine.

We thrive on a schedule and after our little one is born everything we knew about time-management and organizing our lives goes straight out the window.

It takes months before we finally reorganize our lives and develop new routines and schedules. We work to get this schedule down until it becomes second nature. Then, weaning enters the picture. Our normal routines are, again, out of whack.

This can create a bit of havoc when we strive for a carefully managed life and routine. We must trust that it will take time to settle into a new routine that works for all involved. As soon as our baby begins growing inside our bodies, we begin to feel a new sense of purpose.

We feel like we were meant to be moms and our lives are slowly becoming complete. As we collect books and sign up for classes on how to best care for our growing little one, we begin to feel more complete. We are now existing primarily to care for another human. Becoming more selfless, we are now working tirelessly for our children; however, it feels rewarding.

This can definitely cause us pain and anguish. Another frightening concept that we work hard to come to terms with during the weaning process is the realization that our babies are growing up. As they become more self-sufficient and independent and do not need us in other areas of their lives as much, they develop their own, little, unique identities.

Before weaning a baby, you will want to make sure they are comfortable feeding from a bottle. You may need to try several different bottle nipples before you find one that works for you. It may be helpful to have someone other than mom do these feedings, if possible.

Usually, what you will want to do is drop one feeding every few days, or one feeding a week, depending on how your body adjusts to the decrease. You can do this one of several ways:. Weaning older babies is similar to weaning younger babies, in that you want to drop one feeding every few days and replace it with something else.

For babies over six months old, a solid food meal might suffice for at least some of the dropped feedings. But keep in mind that babies under 12 months will still also need to be consuming formula in addition to solid foods. Older babies don't need to transition from breast to bottles; you can try a sippy cup, a cup with a straw, or an open cup.

Weaning as an exclusive pumper can be hard, because you know that stopping pumping cold turkey will lead to very full and uncomfortable breasts. For example:. If you are someone who pumps and nurses, you can decide whether you want to wean from a pumping session or a nursing session first.

Some people find the pumping sessions easier to wean from emotionally; others prefer to wean from direct breastfeeding. Do what works for you, but go gradually whenever possible. Weaning a toddler involves some gentle conversations, substitution of nursing sessions with other foods and fun activities, distractions, and extra snuggles for the missed times of closeness that nursing provides.

If you are working, you can supplement with formula while you are gone and breastfeed while you are with your baby as long as you breastfeed regularly, you will keep up the supply that your baby demands. If you are dealing with an older baby or toddler, sometimes just dropping the nighttime sessions or confining to nursing to once or twice a day is enough to take off the pressure and make you feel comfortable continuing to nurse.

You may find that you are only able to fully bond with your baby after weaning, because breastfeeding was such a stressful experience for you. Remember, there is no one right way to do this, or one right way to feel. If the decision to wean, or the weaning process is triggering feelings of anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, make sure to reach out to your doctor or a therapist. You deserve compassionate care at times like these.

After all, breastfeeding is a relationship between you and your baby; when that ends, you might feel sadness. Parenting, I see, is not necessarily getting easier—not with an exuberant, opinionated girl on my hands. But with each milestone—crib, walking, talking, toilet training—I get a little stronger and readier to move on.

This article was originally published online in February Opinion Why did no one tell me how hard it is to stop breastfeeding? Photo: iStockPhoto. How ever was I going to wean her? Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Learn more or change your cookie preferences. By continuing to use our service, you agree to our use of cookies. We use cookies why? You can change cookie preferences.

She just Basically, weaning sucks. My 1-year-old just stopped nursing last week. She shakes her head "no" if I offer my boob to her. It's been so emotionally hard for me. She's my last baby, and breastfeeding kept her a "baby. I can't believe how emotional it has been. Physically, my boobs hurt, but mostly I'm feeling it emotionally! I just weaned at five months after exclusively pumping for the past three months, because my son struggled to breastfeed.

He had a lip and tongue tie that weren't properly identified for about seven weeks, but even after that, he still didn't transfer more than three ounces in a minute nursing session. He was starting to show an aversion to nursing as the bottle was so much less work for him. I don't really remember weaning with my first son, who I nursed. My supply was dropping and he was picking up bottles more and more This time, I had worked hard to increase my supply, so I had to drop pumps slowly and I felt engorged -- a lot.

It probably took about two weeks. I had been making about 30 ounces a day, so I was worried I'd get clogs or mastitis. The process of pumping is pretty unnatural and the decision was entirely mine. I think that made it much more guilt-inducing, because there was no hint it was the right time based on the baby's behavior. News U. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism.

Special Projects Highline. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes. Follow Us. Terms Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. All rights reserved. My first daughter was 19 months when she weaned, and I was so happy! We had already stopped nursing during the day, due to daycare and work.

Then one night she didn't ask for the breast meaning, she slept through the night without nursing and I didn't offer. My milk dried up within three days, and I was ecstatic. Breastfeeding isn't actually something I enjoyed.