What if sburb was real

You'd only consider it if you knew the world was going to end soon, whether you personally played it or not. No, because you care about your friends and family, and you probably wouldn't be able to save all of them.

People who are trained for dangerous situations. Trained soldiers, climbers, survivalists; doesn't matter as much if you know them personally or not. No one. You don't trust anyone else to not fuck everything up, and you'll try to pull yourself in solo. Time is overrated anyway.

Your internet friends! Your real-life buddies! Probably just your best friend or romantic partner. Things are less complicated with only two players, and you can beat the game as fast as possible. Your crush As many people as you can possibly pull in. Best to try to save as many people as possible, even if the game itself becomes a chaotic mess. Your dead pet! The remains of a loved one. Now what should you pick for the second prototyping A video game!

You'll never die with Captain Mario Freemanchief at your side. Your favorite book, TV show or anime, or related merch. Always wanted to meet my favorite character in person A tissue. Take that, imps! The most deadly, powerful-looking thing around. Your coplayers can just deal with it. Nothing, you'll let your co-player choose what to prototype. Nothing, because you're not prototyping pre-medium at all. A waterworld, full of rocky islands and buried treasure! Something natural and quiet, free of cities and ruins, with only a few small NPC villages.

Covered in active cities full of crazy amphibious NPCs. A world of ruins begging to be explored, full of weird riddles and puzzles. Trippy neon rainbow world! Weirder is better. A dangerous world, full of traps that you can use to your advantage.

You really don't care, so long as it doesn't immediately start trying to kill you. Alchemizing some rad weapons and beating up larger enemies! Political games are more interesting and productive than just fighting monsters, anyway. You hope your client player has a lot of grist Leaving your house to explore your new Land. Grabbing your favorite games and shows and alchemizing as much cool stuff from them as possible!

Setting up your house's defenses and alchemizing practical stuff. Always have to be prepared. Experimenting with alchemizing to see if you can figure out how to game the punchcard alchemy system for OP items.

Leave them alone, for the most part. Try befriending some of the locals! Maybe treat a few of them to a delicious lunch of whatever food you have in your fridge. Start recruiting them as members of your secret council and travel your land together.

Start killing the bastards before they kill you back! Try to talk things over with him before things go sour too quickly. You can take this guy! Even though you've just started out, it's not like he's the final boss or anything Back away and find another route. Better to just play things safe when you have no idea what his beef with you is.

Try to run past him, you're fast enough to outspeed this dude. Bribe him with whatever non-essential stuff you have on you. Summon your sprite and tell them to act as a diversion while you sneak past. Stop them with force if need be.

Yeah, it's dangerous and they could be seriously injured, but it's better then them getting your team possibly killed. Let them do what they'd like, but refuse to help.

You don't want to put yourself in greater danger. Help them out with their plan. Maybe you were wrong in thinking their plan was shitty, and helping them would be less dangerous than letting them execute their plan solo and poorly.

Keep trying to reason with them; don't use force. Logic and rationality will always win! Call in the rest of your team for support.

They can argue with you, but they can't argue against your whole team. Appear to let them do what they want, but sabotage their plan at the first step so they don't cause any damage. Command them to stop with all your leaderly authority. This is insubordination, and you won't stand for it. They'll never know it was you, and you get bitchin' powers. Sounds like a win-win! No, because you don't actually trust that Bad Horse here is going to keep their word.

No, because no one has the right to make that kind of decision about other living beings. Yes, because you're pretty sure that you'll benefit your team more with your superpowers than their sprites would. No, because those powers really don't seem worth it. Yes, because making a deal with the devil for demonic superpowers is awesome! You can't decide and leave the glowy pony, deciding to tell your teammates. Your favorite character. You might miss your co-player, but the amount you'd gain from having a high-leveled void-hopping buddy on your side is much greater than what you'd lose from letting your teammate die.

Your co-player, of course! They're your friend and you wouldn't let them die. Your co-player; you'll lose the game without them, and the Homestuck-out-of-nowhere seems like too convenient of a distraction for it to not be a trap.

Your favorite character! You could never let them die in front of you, and you have so much you want to talk to them about Your favorite character, because your teammates are tools anyway and you don't care if they die. Your teammate, because to be honest as much as you like them your favorite Homestuck character is kind of an ass.

Let both of them die and loot their corpses. You can't accept a zero-percent survival rate, and try to save both, albeit with drastically reduced likelihood of survival overall. Each has a 1 in 3 chance of survival, calculated independently of the other.

Kill off all the characters you don't like. Don't do anything, this is too much power for a mere immortal god to hold. Your OTP is now canon forever! Take that, supporters of ships you don't like! Write some pesterlogs between some characters that didn't get enough development, or never really got to talk to each other. Plot time! Make the most gorgeous eye-candy flash you possibly can in only 24 hours. Declare Homestuck officially over forever. The point of progressing gate-by-gate is to steadily gain the powers and abilities necessary to be able to fight and defeat the denizen, which guards a huge hoard of grist.

This grist is meant to be used for the Ultimate Alchemy , and complete the game's true purpose. At the centre of the Incipisphere is Skaia, and at the centre of Skaia is the Battlefield. The Battlefield changes depending on how many prototyped kernelsprites have entered the session and hatched, and it can only function at the bare minimum with two prototypings.

This serves two main functions, the most pressing of which being the battle between the forces of light and dark - the armies of Prospit and Derse respectively. This cannot take place without a two-tier prototyped battlefield, and will result in a stalemate without it.

This battle plays out as the players progress. Prospit and Derse house the player's dream selves between each other, as well as the one of the game's most significant species, the Prospitian and Dersite carapacians. The battle between the white and black carapacians on the checkered Battlefield is likened to a game of chess—the ultimate goal being to kill the opposing side's king.

The royalty of each side are aided with rings and scepters that allow them to take on the properties of the kernelsprites. The forces of Prospit are always destined to lose, however, and the Dersite capturing of the white king's scepter is what allows for the triggering of The Reckoning.

The Reckoning is a hour event that results in a rain of meteors from The Veil at the edge of the Medium towards Skaia. If this continues for too long, the battlefield risks being destroyed, and Skaia is prevented from achieving its ultimate goal. Skaia will attempt to defend itself using portals that will transport the meteors directed at it towards the host planet that the players originated from, resulting in the meteoric apocalypse that prompted their escape to The Incipisphere in the first place.

While most of the portals redirect to the same day, many are sent to a variety of different time periods across the host planet's history. Some meteors act as seeds to plant structures like the Frog Temple far in the planet's past.

While the Reckoning is at hand, the players must defeat the Black King to put a stop to it and save Skaia. Every Sburb player with few incredible exceptions is a paradox clone —meaning they are a perfect ectobiological clone that is destined to become the person that is eventually targeted for cloning i.

This cloning is done during sessions, and the resultant children will ride meteors during The Reckoning to their place in the history of their home planet. The Scratch is a usually optional event during Sburb that effectively resets the host universe back to its start. It is initiated when the session's Scratch Construct found on the Time player's planet with the aid of the quills of echidna ; the Space player's denizen.

It is a lengthy and difficult process, as the game will spawn many high level underlings to prevent it from succeeding. The key difference between a pre-scratch and post-scratch sessions is that the order of paradox clones delivered deviates. For the kids' sessions, this means that John, Rose, Dave, and Jade were born as millenials destined to play Sburb, but post-scratch, their ectobiological parents and true paradox clones Jane, Roxy, Dirk, and Jake were the ones that would take their place as Sburb players albeit under unusual circumstances.

The remaining generation become the ancestors or guardians of the Sburb players. Since the scratch entirely recreates a universe and its session from its beginning, the players who initiate the scratch will remember nothing of their time before the universe is reset, though naturally, with a known exception. It is shown, however, that if players escape their universe and session through some means , they will not be erased from existence with the universe they knew.

Because of the way that the paradox clones are sent to different times, only one session between the pre-scratch and post-scratch session actually has to involve the creation of paradox clones, which is how void sessions are able to exist, given that they rely on their scratch counterpart to initiate The Reckoning. Between the two sessions, the one that created the paradox clones is the universe in which Sburb released as a beta, while the session that didn't is the one in which Sburb released as an alpha.

This is heavily speculated to be due to weird plot shit. The pre-scratch session is intended to be the one in which cloning takes place, however a known glitch in Sburb can cause the post-scratch session to involve cloning, dooming the pre-scratch session to require scratching since it is necessary for the players involved to exist in the first place. The glitch will also result in the post-scratch host planet's first guardian being D o c Scratch.

With Skaia saved, the players are prompted to complete their personal quests and continue ascending their echeladder. At this point, players will find more out about their aspect , and often have full control over it by ascending through the God Tiers. God Tier is generally reached by maxing out the player's echeladder and then dying on their Quest Bed or Sacrifical Slab.

This grants the player greater control over their aspect, and gives them the highly useful? Kiddie Camper Handysash. The player's quest is deeply entwined with their mythological role. For some players, their personal quest is an integral part of beating the game. It is the role of each game's Space player, the one who brought the volcano known as the Forge into the game, to conduct their own ectobiology on the frog population native to their planet to create the perfect tadpole, which will combine with the Battlefield and Skaia to become the Genesis Frog —the ultimate goal of the game.

This is done often with the help of each session's Knight. Failure to conduct proper ectobiology will result in a cancerous Genesis Frog , which can lead to a range of catastrophies. The players must fully construct their houses to serve one final gameplay purpose: The Ultimate Alchemy. Reaching Skaia, they will now function as platforms on top of which large Grist Rigs can be placed that feed Skaia from the player's accumulated Grist, allowing the Gensis Frog to mature.

Assuming this is all done and the Frog is healthy, it will release the vast croak, allowing the players The Ultimate Reward. An average null session contain all the rules of a regular session, but are destined for failure, however there are two known exceptional kinds of session. Void sessions lack integral elements like Time and Space players, but their defining feature is the lack of sufficient prototypings.

This leaves the battlefield in an inert state of stalemate, and results in a cold war of sorts between Prospit and Derse. These cannot be won without intervention of some kind. Dead sessions are sessions that, though they may present as ordinary sessions to begin with, are doomed to be played by only one player, and are by most measures impossible.

It is implied that this kind of session is only meant to be won by one specific player. As the players explore their planets and learn of their lore, they learn of their personal planetary quest: a task that they must accomplish to help their planet in some way. Each quest is unique to the player and their planet. These quests aren't necessarily instrumental in the game's outcome, but instead appear to serve to develop each player's abilities, and help their personal growth.

Your quest is really important for you to do. Not really because thats how to get the prize. But because its what you need to do for yourself! The quests all appear to require the player to, at some point, face their denizen, or at least wake them.

Typheus is implied to be responsible for this. John's quest, phrased as a riddle, was to journey to the place where "constellations danced beneath the clouds," and to free the stars from the shade and release them into heaven.

To clear them, John had to travel to his denizen's palace, which resembles a large pipe organ, and play a special song on the organ within. However, John's quest had two stages. Before he could use the pipe organ, he first had to clear the oil that had covered his planet and clogged all the pipes. To do that, he had to face his denizen, and presumably ask him to clear the oil. It is unknown how the issue of the oil would have resolved itself had he requested this from his denizen: rather, John came to Typheus asking for help mastering his retcanon powers, and, in the process of that, banished the oil from existence on LOWAS and distributed it throughout existence.

To restore life in the oceans, Rose must "play the rain," meaning that she must play a song whose notes form the musical analogue to a genetic code that will make life possible again. Involved is the comparison between light waves, waves caused by falling rain, and sound waves: Rose must somehow play the music formed by these. Out of all the kids, Rose is the one who has done the least progress on her planet quest.

She seems to be disinterested in it entirely, and has instead spent a large amount of time navigating her planet, attempting to find ways to break the game. After arriving in the new session three years after the scratch, she began to wonder if she should still do her quest at all, as it was designed for a thirteen year old girl who has since matured, or if she was ever really meant to complete it in the first place.

Dave's quest is the most vaguely-described of all the beta kids' quests. It has something to do with Dave's pulling Caledfwlch out of the golden stone on his planet, LOHAC , and having to break it in the process.

Breaking the sword angered Hephaestus , who wanted to fix it but could only do so with lava from a lit Forge. Thus, integral to the completion of Dave's quest was bringing the Forge into the session, and Jade convincing Echidna to light the Forge, creating some sort of truce between Echidna and Hephaestus.

However, Hephaestus could not do this in Davesprite's timeline, as Jade died before entering, hence his frustration. Davesprite brought the broken Caledfwlch to Hephaestus, who gave him The Choice: to either repair the sword and forge the Royal Deringer , or to fix something else, that Davesprite never mentioned though he did say that Hephaestus, with the Forge, can fix anything.

Although Davesprite knows much about Dave's personal quest, he decides not to explain anything, as he and alpha Dave would find that boring. What the true purpose of this quest is remains uncertain: it may be to mend Caledfwlch, to grant Hephaestus use of the Forge, for Dave to simply contemplate and grow into his role as a Knight, or something else.

Although this was never explicitly phrased to be her quest, Jade had to meet Echidna, and somehow convince her to stoke the forge, which melted all the snow and brought its forests to life again. None of these events were ever shown in-comic, only discussed, so the exact mechanics of how a forge is stoked are unclear. What little is known about their quests is largely encompassed by the fact that their session is entirely inert, save from divine intervention from the arrival of the four pre-scratch kids, forcing the post-scratch kids, and by extension, the entire session, to lay in wait.

All four of their lands are themes around death and noble gases, with emphasis on how stagnant and inert the nature of the session is. All the consorts are dead and all the enemies are skeletal undead monsters, and seemingly only appear after the arrival of all four players. None of the pre-scratch kids would make much headway in their personal quests, aside from Jane and Roxy in various measures.

On Jane's planet, the Land of Crypts and Helium, the aspect of infertility and the awaited arrival of life are constantly referred to, with lush flora growing just visibly out of reach under the planet's surface, occasionally breaking through the soil.

Jane would partially accomplish this through the augmented abilities she gain by unlocking Trickster Mode. Half of her planet would be suddenly covered in lush, tangled plant-life. This overgrowth would show visible signs of decay later on, possibly indicating that Jane's sudden power-up was not intended as part of her quest. Nix would simply provide the Choice of remaining where they are and facing oblivion in a soon to be doomed timeline, or going to LOWAS and joining John in the new timeline, at the cost of their friends facing the similar loss to the one they have already faced.

The result of Roxy's would seemingly manifest with the death of their alternate, post-retcon self. Nothing else is revealed about Roxy's quest. Even though sloppy is fine , it might be a bit of a good idea to arrange this particular page because, to be quite frank, as it is right now, it is just absolute garbage.

Here's some detail: this section is messy, repetitive, and probably unnecessary. Sburb has no description or instructions regarding its true objective, instead revealing information to its players through cryptic explanations from their sprites. This is an integral part of the game and is refered to as the Ultimate Riddle, first mentioned by Nannasprite.

It seems closely related to Time shenanigans , Weird plot shit , paradox clones , and the immutability of fate. According to Karkat, the gist of the Riddle is that:. The clues to the Riddle are found in the game world in the form of strange poems that players discover during their various quests. Karkat mentioned that these poems are also necessary to solve Weird puzzle shit.

Karkat also mentions the Riddle in relation to his backwards trolling of John and the Time shenanigans that result in this chatlog , when John contacts Karkat, who realizes that his own future actions will trigger John's desire to contact him, causing their present conversation. As John and Rose begin to meddle with the game, John discovers a Meteor barreling toward his house, apparently triggered by the creation of the Kernelsprite.

The sobering reality hits Rose as she discovers that Sburb is a game that destroys the world. It's able to do this by sending meteors down to Earth through portals around Skaia. Only those that enter The Medium survive. The game Sburb is being played by many people, each one of them unknowingly the target of their own meteor, each one of them being oblivious to previous players' experience, each one of them being annihilated individually yet collectively, every one of them victim of destruction on a massive yet undetermined scale, leveling entire cities and towns.

Through exposition from their sprites, the players learn the objective of the game. The player must build using Build Grist to pass through the gates to get to Skaia , where, ultimately, a battle of good and evil is being waged, and the players have opened up what was a supposed eternal stalemate now into an all out war that evil always wins.

When the villains win, the Black King calls down meteors to destroy Skaia , which protects itself by teleporting them to the host planet, destroying it in the process. The players must stop the meteors before the defense portals fail and Skaia is destroyed. The game comes in multiple phases: climbing through The Seven Gates , defeating the Denizens , the Ultimate Alchemy , and the Reckoning up to and including the final confrontation with the Black King and Queen , to name a few. However, they are interrupted by Jack Noir before claiming it.

This reward was stated to be entry to a new universe which they had created - the Kids' universe - where they would have ruled as gods. Thus it is revealed that the ultimate purpose of Sburb is as a method of procreation for entire universes - a single planet is sacrificed in order to create an entirely new universe or several are sacrificed for several universes , which may themselves propagate one or more universes, and so on. Therefore, the objective of Sburb is the successful creation of a new universe, which is implied to be the nature of the Ultimate Alchemy.

The trolls have an equivalent version of Sburb adapted by Sollux Captor based on technology found in some ruins by Aradia Megido.